IT'S ONLY BEEN A CENTURY. HAVE WE SUNK THIS LOW?

Today the former St. Louis Cardinal I hate the most became a Cub. His name should not be spoken more than necessary, lest he start to feel comfortable here and want to stay. It rhymes with "Dim Redmonds." I mean, it's only been 100 years since the Cubs last won the World Series, do we really need to sign Dim F-ing Redmonds?

Why do I hate him, you ask? Well, there is the apparent fact that Cardinal fans call him "Jimmy Baseball." That's hateable. Every time he dives for a ball he writhes around like an Italian soccer player. That's hateable. He always seemed to get the big hit or make the big catch against the Cubs. That's hateable. I just plain hate our new part-time centerfielder. Of course, this is not nearly as bad as when the Bulls signed John Starks. I almost passed 0ut when that happened.

On the bright side, Z might still kick Redmonds' ass. See, Z is known to lay the smack down when needed, and he and Redmonds had a pretty serious beef in 2004 that they (supposedly) have just gotten through this very day. Hopefully Jimmy Asswipe will get lippy with Z and that will be the end of him.