Monday, June 23, 2008


Athletically speaking, Duke University is undeniably a basketball school. The Blue Devils have had tremendous success on the basketball court, with three national championships and 14 Final Four appearances.

Before anyone can debate that the Duke football team has been respectable (if not as successful as the basketball team), know that Duke has already indicated that it believes that its football team is as bad as any team in the nation. See, Duke signed a contract to play four football games against Louisville University. After the first game, Duke refused to play the remaining three games. The contract with Louisville indicated that there would be a penalty of $150,000 per game if a date with a “team of similar stature” could not be arranged.

So Louisville sued for $450,000. Three games, at $150,000 per game. Not so fast, said the Dookies. We only owe you $145 large if you were unable to reschedule with a team of "similar stature." Duke's football team is 6-45 over the last five years. Duke actually argued in open court that with that kind of record ANY team playing major college football was at least as good, if not better, than Duke. Consequently, any scheduled replacement relieved Duke of its penalty obligation.

Sayeth the judge who heard the case:
At oral argument, Duke (with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty) persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower. Duke’s argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville.

Amazing what a school will allow its lawyers to say to save $450,000.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great recruiting tool! Now I know why taking a crap is also referred to as a "Dookie". There is nothing like going to court and saying "we suck" and having the judge say "you're right".

7:29 AM  

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