STUDENT COUNCIL UBER ALLES
I have sometimes felt that the European Union operated like a big student council. There are cool kids (Germany and France, with England sometimes), there are the kids who want to be cool, but never really pull it off (Italy and Spain), there are the kids nobody notices, but who will probably lead pretty healthy lives (the Benelux countries), the poor kids (Greece and Portugal), the rich kids (Scandanvia), and the new rich (Ireland). It is almost like a sitcom about high school.
Today I received a press release from one EU institution or another (they all seem to have similar, uninformative names) that really sealed the amateurish nature of the EU for me. The part I was interested in was the profiles of the new members to be. This issue had Hungary, Latvia, and Lithuania. Below are some of the highlights:
Hungary
Describing Lake Balaton, they say "Every summer, the lake is crowded with tourists who come from abroad to enjoy a wide variety of water sports. Hungarians are fond of water. They hold their country's Olympic swimming champions, Kristina Egerszegi and Tamás Darnyi, in very high esteem as well as their national water polo and rowing teams." This reads like my German textbook from high school. "Germans enjoy hiking, and leather pants. They also enjoy sausage and war."
Describing, I guess, the air in Hungary, they say, "Music is omnipresent in Hungary. Composers like Franz Liszt, Béla Bartók, Zoltán Kodály and Ferenc Erkel drew much inspiration from the wide folkloric tradition of their country. Everywhere in the world, Hungarian music is associated with Gipsy music." That last sentence is pretty ambiguous. Just because we make that association doesn't speak to whether the Hunagrians like "gipsies" or put them in ghettos like the Slovaks have.
Describing Budapest they say, "The Danube divides Budapest into two parts: Buda and Pest. Both areas possess their own distinct charms and characteristics. In the heart of the city, at Margaret Island, lies a verdant nature reserve. In this peaceful area, where cars are banished, ancient trees grow alongside the remains of a medieval monastery; thermal baths and pleasant restaurants are also found nearby." Again, my German high school book. "Berlin is a modern marvel, with parks and a subway. There is no rubble from the war in the West."
Finally, in discussing the culinary gifts of the Magyars, they say, "The use of a few special ingredients gives Hungarian dishes their own inimitable and original flavour. These are red pepper, fresh green peppers and tomatoes, as well as sour cream and lard. The most well known specialities of Hungarian cuisine such as goulash soup, or "Gulyásleves", the different varieties of stew or "pörkölt" etc. are red with paprika. The essence of Hungarian cuisine could be summarised as follows: braise any kind of meat in lard/oil with onions, and season it richly with red pepper." That last sentence really sort of takes it down to Cooking with Emeril and his "trinity" of garlic, onions, and peppers. In fact, I may already be a Hungarian chef.
Latvia
Poor Latvia has even less to say for itself than Hungary. How's this for your most famous son, "The origins of the Crocodile Dundee story can be traced to Dundaga, a little village set among three lakes. In the heart of the village, you will find a huge statue of a crocodile, given by the Latvian Consulate in Chicago in 1995. The statue honours Arvids von Blumenfelds, a local who fled to Australia during WWII and spent his days hunting crocodiles in the Outback. Crocodile Dundee is said to be based on the exploits of this Dundaga hero." Crikey that's fascinating.
Is this a warning, or an invitation? "In Mazsalaca, the Werewolf Pine is reckoned to turn you into a werewolf if you crawl through its roots while muttering certain incantations under a full moon."
Again, is this a warning or an invitation? "Latvia is located along the Baltic Sea, which provides foods such as herring and cod for Latvian cuisine. Like Poland, Russia, Lithuania, and the Ukraine, staple foods in Latvian cooking also include potatoes, wheat, barley, cabbage, onions, eggs and pork. As in other Baltic countries, bread is an essential element of Latvian cuisine. At the end of a good meal, Latvians go for a Undens Klinger, somewhere between a fresh pretzel and a bagel."
As for history, well the Latvians have really figured out how to market themselves. Towit, "The Knights of the Sword (later known as the Livonian Order), an order of crusading knights whose white cloaks were emblazoned with blood-red swords and crosses, forcibly converted the region around Riga in 1290. Latvia was subject to continuous foreign rule from the 13th to the 20th century." Um. OK. So, that probably is not that good a time in Latvian history...
Finally, if all of those weren't reasons enough to go to Latvia, how about the tallest statue in ALL of Europe?!? "The 'freedom statue' in Riga reaches 4 metres and is the highest in Europe. It was inaugurated in 1935 and represents "Milda" a woman symbolising Latvia's fight for independence. Demonstrations often started from there. People still regularly decorate it with flowers." By the way, 4 metres (sic) is like 12 feet. Yao Ming is almost as tall as this statue. Can it possibly be the tallest in Europe? How tall is the statuary on Notre Dame, or the Hofkirche in Dresden, or the Siegessaule in Berlin?
Lithuania
You thought Latvia had nothing to say, Lithuania is billing Vilnius as "the new Prague," as well as the "Baltic Rome." They also note that the geographic center of Europe is in Lithuania, and that the people enjoy wood carving and potato pancakes. I'm not kidding. Really. That is what they have to say for themselves. Jeez, no wonder they all emigrated to Pennsylvania and Chicago in the early 1900's.
I have sometimes felt that the European Union operated like a big student council. There are cool kids (Germany and France, with England sometimes), there are the kids who want to be cool, but never really pull it off (Italy and Spain), there are the kids nobody notices, but who will probably lead pretty healthy lives (the Benelux countries), the poor kids (Greece and Portugal), the rich kids (Scandanvia), and the new rich (Ireland). It is almost like a sitcom about high school.
Today I received a press release from one EU institution or another (they all seem to have similar, uninformative names) that really sealed the amateurish nature of the EU for me. The part I was interested in was the profiles of the new members to be. This issue had Hungary, Latvia, and Lithuania. Below are some of the highlights:
Hungary
Describing Lake Balaton, they say "Every summer, the lake is crowded with tourists who come from abroad to enjoy a wide variety of water sports. Hungarians are fond of water. They hold their country's Olympic swimming champions, Kristina Egerszegi and Tamás Darnyi, in very high esteem as well as their national water polo and rowing teams." This reads like my German textbook from high school. "Germans enjoy hiking, and leather pants. They also enjoy sausage and war."
Describing, I guess, the air in Hungary, they say, "Music is omnipresent in Hungary. Composers like Franz Liszt, Béla Bartók, Zoltán Kodály and Ferenc Erkel drew much inspiration from the wide folkloric tradition of their country. Everywhere in the world, Hungarian music is associated with Gipsy music." That last sentence is pretty ambiguous. Just because we make that association doesn't speak to whether the Hunagrians like "gipsies" or put them in ghettos like the Slovaks have.
Describing Budapest they say, "The Danube divides Budapest into two parts: Buda and Pest. Both areas possess their own distinct charms and characteristics. In the heart of the city, at Margaret Island, lies a verdant nature reserve. In this peaceful area, where cars are banished, ancient trees grow alongside the remains of a medieval monastery; thermal baths and pleasant restaurants are also found nearby." Again, my German high school book. "Berlin is a modern marvel, with parks and a subway. There is no rubble from the war in the West."
Finally, in discussing the culinary gifts of the Magyars, they say, "The use of a few special ingredients gives Hungarian dishes their own inimitable and original flavour. These are red pepper, fresh green peppers and tomatoes, as well as sour cream and lard. The most well known specialities of Hungarian cuisine such as goulash soup, or "Gulyásleves", the different varieties of stew or "pörkölt" etc. are red with paprika. The essence of Hungarian cuisine could be summarised as follows: braise any kind of meat in lard/oil with onions, and season it richly with red pepper." That last sentence really sort of takes it down to Cooking with Emeril and his "trinity" of garlic, onions, and peppers. In fact, I may already be a Hungarian chef.
Latvia
Poor Latvia has even less to say for itself than Hungary. How's this for your most famous son, "The origins of the Crocodile Dundee story can be traced to Dundaga, a little village set among three lakes. In the heart of the village, you will find a huge statue of a crocodile, given by the Latvian Consulate in Chicago in 1995. The statue honours Arvids von Blumenfelds, a local who fled to Australia during WWII and spent his days hunting crocodiles in the Outback. Crocodile Dundee is said to be based on the exploits of this Dundaga hero." Crikey that's fascinating.
Is this a warning, or an invitation? "In Mazsalaca, the Werewolf Pine is reckoned to turn you into a werewolf if you crawl through its roots while muttering certain incantations under a full moon."
Again, is this a warning or an invitation? "Latvia is located along the Baltic Sea, which provides foods such as herring and cod for Latvian cuisine. Like Poland, Russia, Lithuania, and the Ukraine, staple foods in Latvian cooking also include potatoes, wheat, barley, cabbage, onions, eggs and pork. As in other Baltic countries, bread is an essential element of Latvian cuisine. At the end of a good meal, Latvians go for a Undens Klinger, somewhere between a fresh pretzel and a bagel."
As for history, well the Latvians have really figured out how to market themselves. Towit, "The Knights of the Sword (later known as the Livonian Order), an order of crusading knights whose white cloaks were emblazoned with blood-red swords and crosses, forcibly converted the region around Riga in 1290. Latvia was subject to continuous foreign rule from the 13th to the 20th century." Um. OK. So, that probably is not that good a time in Latvian history...
Finally, if all of those weren't reasons enough to go to Latvia, how about the tallest statue in ALL of Europe?!? "The 'freedom statue' in Riga reaches 4 metres and is the highest in Europe. It was inaugurated in 1935 and represents "Milda" a woman symbolising Latvia's fight for independence. Demonstrations often started from there. People still regularly decorate it with flowers." By the way, 4 metres (sic) is like 12 feet. Yao Ming is almost as tall as this statue. Can it possibly be the tallest in Europe? How tall is the statuary on Notre Dame, or the Hofkirche in Dresden, or the Siegessaule in Berlin?
Lithuania
You thought Latvia had nothing to say, Lithuania is billing Vilnius as "the new Prague," as well as the "Baltic Rome." They also note that the geographic center of Europe is in Lithuania, and that the people enjoy wood carving and potato pancakes. I'm not kidding. Really. That is what they have to say for themselves. Jeez, no wonder they all emigrated to Pennsylvania and Chicago in the early 1900's.
posted by David at 9:22 AM
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