CULTURAL SENSITIVTY 101

The New York Times reported today about protests to Viacom, which owns CBS and UPN about a proposed reality show to be called "Amish in the City." I would link to it, but the Times has such a crappy links policy, including registration, that it is better to just skip it.

In any case, the premise of the reality show (remember, real people) was that Amish teenagers would be filmed being put into the "shock and temptation" of a big city for the first time. The morons in L.A. (sorry, redundant) who are defending the show say that it will be a reverse of The Simple Life, in which perhaps the second and third dumbest people in the world (Jessica Simpson is the reigning queen) were dropped on to a farm in Arkansas. Anyway, the idea is to film five Amish kids who go through Rumpspringa—Pennsylvania Dutch for a period when kids get to experiment with the world and decide if they want to remain unmodern—and show it for fun and amusement. In other words, exploit a very useful rite, sort of like Confirmation for Catholics, because the kids will be shocked and amazed by our Buck Rogers world…

I have a few other good ideas for these guys if this show falls through. How about, Jew's First Pork Chop, America's Lenten Roast Beef, Graven Images and the Young Muslim, or Starvin' Marvin's East African Buffet. All of those sound like they would be "respectful" to the chosen groups, just as this is.

Actually, given that all of these knuckleheads are in L.A., how about the All Carb, No Tanning, No Implants in L.A. Show. That would be fun to watch.

PLAIN LANGUAGE 101

The Associated Press is carrying a piece in which they analyze whether Bill Clinton is eligible to be John Kerry's Vice President. Now, I know what you are all thinking. You're thinking, "didn't we pass the 22nd Amendment for this type of situation?" I say, Right You Are, Kenny.

The 22nd Amendment says, in relevant part, "No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once." So we all agree that Bill Clinton is not eligible to be PRESIDENT by operation of the 22nd Amendment.

The 12th Amendment, in relevant part says, "But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States."

Now, notwithstanding that the 22nd Amendment was ratified after the 12th Amendment, it seems pretty clear to me that the "constitutionally ineligible" language applies to ANY constitutional eligibility requirement. In other words, the intent of the cited language in the 12th is to keep from having a Vice President who could not be President. Thus, when the AP finds a Constitutional law scholar willing to say that the 12th Amendment MAY apply only to the Article II eligibility requirements (natural born citizen, at least 35 years old, who has been a U.S. resident for at least 14 years), it flies directly in the face of the apparent intent of the 22nd Amendment. Especially since it would have been an easy matter for the 12th to say, "But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President under Article II of the Constitution shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States."

I know it is a silly point, since Clinton won't be the VP nominee. Still, it makes me crazy when legal academics spin law school-type hypotheticals on an unwary public.


BIG (11) TEN CHAMPIONS 101

Last night my Illini beat Purdue in overtime to clinch at least a share of the Big (11) Ten regular season title. Make no mistake, this is the only title that matters until the NCAA Tournament starts.