Saturday, October 04, 2008

THE CONSPIRACY FILES

I have been reading a lot of Green Eggs and Ham, and Curious George Plays Baseball of late. Like, probably 20 times each in the last 10 days. Frankly, I do not have huge issues with Green Eggs and Ham. Sam-I-Am is a pain in the ass, and railroad construction in Whoville seems substandard, but otherwise, meh.

Curious George Plays Baseball, on the other hand, is rife with inconsistencies. And not just in the (extremely) poor depiction of a baseball game, either. No. Right from the beginning something is fishy. First, The Man in the Yellow Hat leaves George in the stands to go "say hello to Jimmy's mother." However, within a few pages, Jimmy's mother is in the stands, and the Man in the Yellow Hat is . . . not with her. Where is he?

Next, George (predictably) gets into trouble. SPOILER ALERT! George hits practice balls into the field of play during the game. The umpire tells the players to "get that monkey!" As the players start after George you realize that all three of them are identical! Are they triplets? Are they Adam 1 through 3 (although one of them is wearing number 8, so apparently there are at least eight of them). Is the whole blue team made up on genetically clones super mutants? That seems like it would be interesting.

The players chase George up a flag pole. The pole does not have an American flag atop it. Why not? Is this story depicting an America run by terrorists? Wasn't the author of the Curious George books born in Hamburg? Is this the kind of America the Man in the Yellow Hat and his ilk have created? Is George a symbol for the anarchist immigrants of the early 20th century? Is THAT why he's always in trouble? I'm not insinuating anything. I'm just asking a question.

Later in the book Adam 8 hits a foul ball that is about to hit Jimmy's mom in the stands. It appears that Adam 8 is the second batter of the game. The first hits a fly out to the outfield. Then George sprays line drives on to the field, then the foul ball is hit. The pitcher has thrown 1/3 of an inning. Anyway, George reaches out and snags the foul before it hits Jimmy's mom. Everyone cheers for George and they tell him to come down from the flag pole. When he does, the Man in the Yellow Hat shows up, tells George that "he's seen the whole thing" and they LEAVE.

Look, I don't want to speculate on what the Man in the Yellow Hat is really at the ball game for. I'm not saying that he didn't meet his drug connection, or have some sort of tryst in the park bathrooms, or something similar. I'm just saying that something in this book does not add up.

2 Comments:

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12:37 AM  
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8:21 AM  

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