L = JOLIE, WAYLA = PITT

Today's Tribune had a Tempo article in which the journalist spent time with some of the paparazzi chasing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt around Chicago while they film a movie here that I wont' see. The article is pretty disturbing. They chase an SUV with Jolie and/or Pitt up Lake Shore Drive at 80 miles an hour, run red lights and stop signs on Wilson Avenue, and use oncoming traffic lanes to pursue the Jolie and/or Pitt SUV. As an aside, yes, Chicago drivers do all of these things, but we are trained locals, not Los Angeles asswipes not from around here. We are qualified.

Anyway, I bet you are wondering about the headline here. Well, the paparazzi are chasing Jolie and/or Pitt through Uptown, endangering lives because Jolie and/or Pitt are headed toward Lincoln Square. Our old neighborhood! In fact, they have one of their kids with them. They are headed to . . . Timeless Toys! We went to Timeless Toys. In fact, U got a Steiff Knopf im Ohr bunny to chew on and a Gund Teddy Bear from that very store just last Saturday! So, the long and the short of it is that now that L and I are too cool for Lincoln Square, Jolie and/or Pitt are cool enough to go there.