RACHAEL DID THIS

CNN reported the other day that governors in Montana, Idaho, Nebraska, Washington state, and Utah received letter that were rigged with matches. When the letters were opened, it was supposed to light the matches. There did not appear to be any explosive or anything. Just matches and the ensuing fire. The letters were postmarked from the Ely State Prison in Ely, Nevada. There were return addresses with prisoners’ names on them.

I knew this story reminded me of something. Then I remembered a story L told me from when she was a really little kid. She got mad at her younger sister, and decided to get her in trouble. Being a clever kid, L decided to create indisputable proof that her sister was doing something bad. She wrote in pencil on the wall, “Rachael did this.” Somehow her parents saw through that ruse and L got in trouble anyway.

FAVORED DEMOGRAPHICS

L and I are apparently in a favored demographic. We receive Newsweek, although for the princely sum of $20 per year (apparently 9000% off the cover price) and receive U.S. New and World Report completely unbidden. We have no idea whatsoever why U.S. News and World Report comes to us, and couldn’t really even cancel it, given that we don’t actually subscribe. Interestingly, neither of us is impressed with either magazine, and anxiously await the day we pass into a demographic that allows us to stop receiving them.

This week, however, I am glad that we receive these magazines. This week, each had a major feature piece on children as consumers. They quoted many identical statistics, and each did little vignettes with families who have kids and consume goods. After that, they could not be more different. For Newsweek, this is the cover story, with the headline “How to Say ‘No’ To Your Kids.” The picture is an angry looking mom and an angry looking 10 year old (with iPod headphones on) forehead to forehead glaring at each other. For US News, it is a little corner of the magazine cover with the headline “Why Kid Consumers RULE.” You get the sense the conclusions reached in the magazines might not be identical.

Without belaboring every difference in the reporting, there is a quote from each article that clearly sets forth their respective agendas. Newsweek says, “while it is certainly true that affluent parents can raise happy and well-adjusted children, the struggle to set limits has never been tougher. Saying no is harder when you can afford to say yes . . . Kids who’ve been given too much too soon grow up to be adults who have difficulty coping with life’s disappointments. They have a distorted sense of entitlement that gets in the way of success both in the workplace and in relationships.” In other words, consumerism is the root of all evil. Give your kid an iPod and they will grow up to be maladjusted, underachieving whiners.

US News sort of obliquely references the doctors and studies that form the bulk of Newsweek’s thesis. However, it makes short shrift of them with the following quote, “of course, saying yes once in a while won’t cause the ill effects Schor reports. Amanda Bacopulos, 15, calls her Coach purse her ‘prize possession,’ and says, ‘I have always wanted to get married in a Vera Wang dress.’ But hers is not a case of stuff spoiling the child. A cheerleader, Amanda is enthusiastic. Like her sisters, her manners and her grades are excellent. She likes her parents. And shopping, she says, boosts her self-esteem. ‘If I’ve had a good shopping day, I feel kind of beautiful.’” Wow. Amanda is not maladjusted at all. She LIKES the parents that buy her Coach bags. She feels BEAUTIFUL (kind of) when she buys stuff. After all, she IS a cheerleader, and IS enthusiastic (which seems like part of being a cheerleader).

I suspect that my (unchilded) opinions fall somewhere between the root-of-all-evil Newsweek types and the happiness-through-purchasing US News types. Still, I think I would cry if my daughter ever told me a good shopping day made her feel kind of beautiful.

THE BIG EASY

Today the Washington Post carried a story about the problems the city of New Orleans will face if, and when, a big hurricane hits the city straight on. It seems that the entire city is below sea level, and the levees that protect it are degrading the barrier islands that help weaken storms as they approach New Orleans. At the same time, the city’s levees are only rated to withstand a category 3 hurricane, while the hurricane scale goes up to category 5. Meanwhile, the Red Cross refuses to even set up emergency stations in the city because of the extreme danger if the city does flood. It turns out that the city’s pumps can remove only about one inch of water an hour. Therefore, if say, ten feet of water were to inundate the city, there would be a substantial amount of time where everything would be covered with a mix of snakes, chemicals, rats, dead people, and other very bad stuff. That would be extremely bad.

Still and all, isn’t all of this part of what makes New Orleans the city it is? Isn’t part of the feeling you get in New Orleans that everything is always on the edge, and could break bad at any second?

THE DOCTOR IS IN, $0.05

I had Chinese(ish) food for lunch. It came with a fortune cookie. My fortune is, "There is a true and sincere friendship between you both." Does that mean the cookie can hear the voices in my head too?