Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I was going to observe this by writing like a pirate, but starting every sentence with "aaargh," and ending every sentence with "matey" got boring.
MORE HIGH TIMES FROM CANADA
In Surry, British Columbia a woman who lives in a car reported that someone took her pet cheetah. The cat is described as being about 18 kilograms (about 40 pounds) and spotted. There is an entire issue as to whether the cat ("Loki") is actually a cheetah, or is really a serval cat. It is also pointed out that if Loki gets hungry, he could be a "risk to the public." Inexplicably, nobody in article discussed what it would be like to be either Loki or the woman and LIVE IN A CAR with either an adult human, or a 40 pound cat. At what point during the day do you have to call back seat for sleeping when you share your car with a cheetah?
The Canadians (although nobody else, as far as I can tell) has reported that in the past two weeks, at least seven moose have had to be freed from hammocks in the Anchorage area. The explanation is given thus, "it happens every fall when adult males bang and rub their antlers against objects to remove summer velvet. With hormones starting to rage, the bulls also become more rambunctious as they start following cows and confronting other males." Now, I may be dense, but I have no idea how that relates to moose getting stuck in hammocks. It makes me think that moose aren't so different from the rest of us. A nice hammock, a nice day, a nice nap . . .
HE SAID/SHE SAID
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer has a very interesting article today. The article is mostly interesting because it describes the Post-Intelligencer's relationship and issues with the Seattle Times. The Seattle papers, like papers in some other cities (Detroit may be one of these) have a joint operating agreement. This is an arrangement by which one of the papers basically outsources fundamental business operations to the other. Typically the outsourcing paper is a weak one that is being propped up. In this case, the P-I is the weak paper, and it is reporting on the conflicts it has with the stronger paper across town that does its distribution and marketing.
Obviously, there is a conflict of interest in the P-I characterizing these conflicts. However, there does not seem to be another paper to report the story (except maybe the Seattle Times). This is too bad for Seattle. Whatever else is true, it is a good thing to have the Sun-Times, Tribune, Northwest Herald, Southtown Economist, Daily Defender, and Reader . . .
A KILLJOY IN EVERY CROWD
The New York Times today (registration required) ran an op-ed piece by a man named Patrick French. He is apparently a former director of the Free Tibet Campaign. What is fascinating about this article is that it, in essence, tries to debunk elements of the Dalai Lama's personal appeal, as well as some of the various campaigns for a free Tibet. First, French argues that the Dalai Lama "has become whoever we want him to be, a cuddly projection of our hopes and dreams." His examples of this include the fact the Dalai Lama explicitly condemns homosexuality, all oral sex, and all anal sex, the fact that the Dalai Lama once spoke harshly to people in Dharmasala, his headquarters in India, and . . . nothing else.
French then goes on to argue that the Tibetans would be better off if the rest of the world stopped hectoring the Chinese about them and the Dalai Lama returned to China to give Tibetans a significant voice inside of China. This would all be a better argument if French could explain how well this sort of tactic is working to preserve the culture and language of the Uighur people. I don't have the soft spot for Tibet in particular that many American Buddhists have, but French's arguments seem to be awfully hollow.
Finally, this guy somehow completely failed to reference the historical record that the Lama, while a big hitter on the golf course, was not a good tipper. He just needed to seek the testimony of Mr. Carl Spackler, which clearly stated:
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy; a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald — striking.
So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver.
He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a 10,000 foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier.
And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... Gunga, gunga galunga.
So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?"
And he says, 'Oh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.'
So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
By the way, former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura apparently asked the Dalai Lama whether he had ever seen Caddyshack. He had not.
MORE HIGH TIMES FROM CANADA
In Surry, British Columbia a woman who lives in a car reported that someone took her pet cheetah. The cat is described as being about 18 kilograms (about 40 pounds) and spotted. There is an entire issue as to whether the cat ("Loki") is actually a cheetah, or is really a serval cat. It is also pointed out that if Loki gets hungry, he could be a "risk to the public." Inexplicably, nobody in article discussed what it would be like to be either Loki or the woman and LIVE IN A CAR with either an adult human, or a 40 pound cat. At what point during the day do you have to call back seat for sleeping when you share your car with a cheetah?
The Canadians (although nobody else, as far as I can tell) has reported that in the past two weeks, at least seven moose have had to be freed from hammocks in the Anchorage area. The explanation is given thus, "it happens every fall when adult males bang and rub their antlers against objects to remove summer velvet. With hormones starting to rage, the bulls also become more rambunctious as they start following cows and confronting other males." Now, I may be dense, but I have no idea how that relates to moose getting stuck in hammocks. It makes me think that moose aren't so different from the rest of us. A nice hammock, a nice day, a nice nap . . .
HE SAID/SHE SAID
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer has a very interesting article today. The article is mostly interesting because it describes the Post-Intelligencer's relationship and issues with the Seattle Times. The Seattle papers, like papers in some other cities (Detroit may be one of these) have a joint operating agreement. This is an arrangement by which one of the papers basically outsources fundamental business operations to the other. Typically the outsourcing paper is a weak one that is being propped up. In this case, the P-I is the weak paper, and it is reporting on the conflicts it has with the stronger paper across town that does its distribution and marketing.
Obviously, there is a conflict of interest in the P-I characterizing these conflicts. However, there does not seem to be another paper to report the story (except maybe the Seattle Times). This is too bad for Seattle. Whatever else is true, it is a good thing to have the Sun-Times, Tribune, Northwest Herald, Southtown Economist, Daily Defender, and Reader . . .
A KILLJOY IN EVERY CROWD
The New York Times today (registration required) ran an op-ed piece by a man named Patrick French. He is apparently a former director of the Free Tibet Campaign. What is fascinating about this article is that it, in essence, tries to debunk elements of the Dalai Lama's personal appeal, as well as some of the various campaigns for a free Tibet. First, French argues that the Dalai Lama "has become whoever we want him to be, a cuddly projection of our hopes and dreams." His examples of this include the fact the Dalai Lama explicitly condemns homosexuality, all oral sex, and all anal sex, the fact that the Dalai Lama once spoke harshly to people in Dharmasala, his headquarters in India, and . . . nothing else.
French then goes on to argue that the Tibetans would be better off if the rest of the world stopped hectoring the Chinese about them and the Dalai Lama returned to China to give Tibetans a significant voice inside of China. This would all be a better argument if French could explain how well this sort of tactic is working to preserve the culture and language of the Uighur people. I don't have the soft spot for Tibet in particular that many American Buddhists have, but French's arguments seem to be awfully hollow.
Finally, this guy somehow completely failed to reference the historical record that the Lama, while a big hitter on the golf course, was not a good tipper. He just needed to seek the testimony of Mr. Carl Spackler, which clearly stated:
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy; a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald — striking.
So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver.
He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a 10,000 foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier.
And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... Gunga, gunga galunga.
So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?"
And he says, 'Oh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.'
So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
By the way, former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura apparently asked the Dalai Lama whether he had ever seen Caddyshack. He had not.
posted by David at 1:08 PM
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