Thursday, January 20, 2005

REPEAT CUSTOMERS

I think that most business start from the premise that you live on repeat customers and referrals. It is the fundamental assumption behind the theory that the customer is always right. You would think that this would especially apply to a shoe/leather repair place located in an office building, on the third floor, with no visable signs on either the street, or the lobby level of the building. Of course, you'd be wrong.

I dropped the shoulder strap for my bag off at a leather repair place. The place is in an old building, and is located on the third floor. When I got to the building, I had no idea there was a retail concourse on three. Nothing tells you this. When I got off on three the retail was one diamond seller, one antique shop without discernable inventory (which is extremely high end, or extremely low end), and a shoe repair place. Very, very old school. I walked into the shoe repair place immediately behind a lady who looked like she had nothing to drop off. How wrong I was.

The woman told the owner that she wanted a hole punched in her watch band between two existing holes. The owner responded, "OK, but that's a stupid idea." The woman was clearly taken aback. She blinked about thirty times and asked him why it was stupid. He responded that it was stupid because it was ill-conceived and would not work. Now she was floored. Her jaw was almost completely slack. She asked him if he thought the idea was bad because it would look bad, or because it would not be functional. He said, "yes." He then proceeded to explain that as a master craftsman he could certainly execute her request, and that if customers were willing to pay, he was willing to execute their stupid ideas. He was not, however, willing to tell them it was a good idea.

Now the woman was getting angry. It was almost like there is a parallel stages of being abused to the stages of mourning or something. First denial, then shock, then anger, or whatever.

Apparently overcome, the woman said that she didn't understand. In the most patronizing tone you can imagine, the owner explained that the human forearm is generally tapered and that this caused watches to slip toward the wrist. Gravity was also not helpful. Therefore, the problem was not that the holes were one-eighth of an inch apart, rather than one-sixteenth. No, the problem was with the shape of the human forearm. The woman looked down, put her watch on, turned on her heel, and stormed out. The owner did not even pause when he smiled at me and asked what he could help me with. Unbelievable.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

OTHER BOOK

I remembered the other book I read. It was The Plot Against America. I will start with what this book is not. It is not a Man in the High Castle, Harry Tutledovesque creation of an alternative universe. There are very few facts that Roth needs to create to take you into the world of the book. Therefore, fans of alternative history will be disappointed. This takes me to the second thing I don't think this book is. Namely, criticism of the current U.S. administration.

I think this book is an exercise by Roth in the dynamics of a family (his in particular) in contemplating a different reality. Take it only for that (i.e. on its own terms) and it is a pretty enjoyable book. The characters are pretty developed, the story is internally cohesive, and Roth does not feel the need to tie the loose historical ends up. Instead, he writes about a family and leaves his story with that family.

I would say this is between a borrow and a buy.
MILF

Today the Manila Times had the headline "Military retakes outpost overrun by MILF rebels." Those MILFs really are out of control!

By the way, if you don't know what a MILF is (as I am using the term), think Mom's I'd Like To . . ., and use your imagination.
HONEY, GET A BAG OF CATHOLIC FOOD TOO

The China People's Daily reports that China has sent about seven tons of "Muslim food" to the areas hit by the Indian Ocean tsunami. Now, I understand that they mean food prepared in accordance with the requirements of Islam, but nobody can tell me that the following paragraph sounds like anything but advertising for animal food, "China has sent about seven tons of Muslim food to the tsunami-hit areas among batches of other relief materials, according to Beijing Yueshengzhai Muslim Food Co., Ltd., one of China's major Muslim Food producer."

Monday, January 10, 2005

BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS

I had some vacation time between Christmas and New Year's. Among other things, I was able to read a few books. That means it's, wait for it, book review time!!! These are books I've read since Thanksgiving, so there are a few of them.

The Hardball Times Baseball Annual

I am not finished with this book, but then again, I never really will be. It is a compilation of material from The Hardball Times, which contrary to the perverted expectations I understand people to have, is a baseball web page. It covers a ton of apparently esoteric baseball questions, as well as a number of esoteric baseball statistics. In addition, it contains a number of articles originally published on the web. The writing is good, and pretty interesting. It is $6.25 to buy an electronic version (in pdf) and the page is made up on young fellas trying to be baseball writers. Surely a worthy endeavor. Buy this if you like baseball.

The Numbers Game : Baseball's Lifelong Fascination with Statistics

This book is a very nice history of the who and why of the new baseball statistics movement. It tells the story of the early people who found average, home runs, and runs batted in to be insufficient in judging baseball production. It is not statistics heavy, but does expect that you already know that there is a statistics revolution in baseball, and what the old stats were. It would be well-read in conjunction with Moneyball. If you are interested anyway, but this used, or damaged.

Krakatoa : The Day the World Exploded: August 27, 1883

I have been trying to read this book for six months. Usually if I say that, it is because a book is bad. This book is good. However, L accidentally dropped one copy in a place from which it shall never emerge, and I left the replacement at L's parent's house in Boogy. I finally got it back at Christmas.

Anyway, the book tells the story of the eruption of Krakatoa in 1883 and resulting destruction in Indonesia. It covers some fundamental geology and geography, as well as some history. Very good. What was eerie was reading it after the tsunami hit south Asia. Aceh is essentially the same area hit by Krakatoa, and waves killed many more people than debris in 1883. I almost felt like I was reading what I was seeing on the news.

In any case, this book is a buy, if for nothing else than the discussion of the geological split in the middle of Indonesia, and the consequent changes in the flora and animals present. Fascinating.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

This is a Pulitzer Prize winner. I wasn't sure if that impressed me until I read it. What a fine, fine book. It tells the stories of two Jewish cousins from the 1930s to roughly the 1960s. One starts the story in Prague under Hitler and is forced to flee, leaving his family. He escapes Prague traveling with the Golem of Prague, and makes his way across Russia to Japan to the United States to escape Hitler. The other is a New Yorker. Their lives take them through the comic book craze in the 1930s, wealth, war, poverty, insanity, and other stuff that is much more interesting than I thought it would be. It is a good book, and does not slip into sappy coming-of-age cliches. This is a buy.

The Island at the Center of the World: The Epic Story of Dutch Manhattan, the Forgotten Colony that Shaped America

I could swear I blogged about this. If so, I will keep it short. The Dutch were in New York before the English. Their coloby was a free-thinking colony, unlike the English colonies, which were eseentially made up of people fleeing free thinking. Therefore, New York is the city it is because the Dutch were more interested in business than ideology. I think the author proves too much, but it is a pretty interesting history of New York's early days. Borrow this book.

I feel like there were more books, but I can't think of them now. And so it goes.

Friday, January 07, 2005

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

I know that everyone gets Nigeria e-mails. However, unlike most people, I love them. I love them because while they are identical in tone and B.S. formality, they always change the facts. When something happens in Nigeria, it is always incorporated into the new schtick. I appreciate that. In the one I received today, the fact scenario (as received) is:

THE PROPOSITION.AN AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL,LATE ENGINEER BUTCH R. MIGUEL,AN OIL MERCHANT/CONTRACTOR WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA,UNTIL HIS DEATH THREE YEARS AGO IN A GHASTY AIR CRASH IN AN EGYPTIAN AIRLINE,BANKED WITH US HERE AT UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC. MARINA BRANCH LAGOS,AND HAD A CLOSSING BALANCE OF US$15.5M, WHICH THE BANK UNQUESTIONABLY EXPECTS IT TO BE CLAIMED BY ANY AVAILABLE FOREIGN NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE LATE BENEFICIARY OR ALTERNATIVELY BE DONATED TO A DISCREDITED TRUST FUND FOR THE PURCHASE OF ARMS AND AMMUNITIONS AT THE MILITARY WAR COLLEGE IN KADUNA STATE HERE IN NORTHERN NIGERIA.SEQUEL TO THIS,FERVENT VALUABLE EFFORTS WERE MADE BY UNION BANK PLC.TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF THE MIGUEL'S FAMILY OR RELATIVES BUT PROVED TO NO AVAIL.IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERCEIVED POSIBILITY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOCATE ANY OF THE LATE ENGR.BUTCH R. MIGUEL'S [NEXT-OF-KIN] HE HAD NO KNOWN WIFE AND CHILDREN) THAT THE MANAGEMENT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF OUR HONOURABLE CHAIRMAN AN! D MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS,(Retired)MAJOR-GENERAL KALU UKE KALU THAT AN ARRANGEMENT BE MADE FOR THE FUND TO BE DECLARED UN-CLAIMABLE"AND SUBSIQUENTLY BE DONATED TO THE TRUST FUND FOR THE PURCHASE OF ARMS AND AMMUNITON TO FURTHER ENHANCE THE COURSE OF WAR IN AFRICA AND THE WORLD IN GENERAL

Wow. If Itake this money, I can keep $15M worth of arms from the wars in Africa? I'd be an animal to NOT take this money! Sign me up, and call it my donation to the good of humanity. I'd be like Mother Theresa! What do I have to do?

IN ORDER TO AVERT THIS CRUDE AND NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT,SOME OF MY TRUSTED COLLEAGUES AND I NOW SEEK YOUR PERMISSION TO HAVE YOU STAND AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO LATE ENGR. BUTCH R.MIGUEL, SO THAT THE FUND US$.15.5M, WOULD BE RELEASED AND PAID INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE BENEFICIARY'S NEXT-OF-KIN. ALL DOCUMENT SAND PROVES TO ENABLE YOU RECIEVE THIS FUND WILL BE CAREFULLY WORKED OUT AND MORE SO AS PROFESSIONAL BANKERS, WE ARE ASSURING YOU OF 100% RISK-FREE INVOLVEMENT.

Well, I have never been to 'Stralia, and I have no "Miguels" in my family tree. On the other hand, for $15M, maybe I can find some. What's in it for these guys though?

YOUR SHARE STAYS WHILE THE REST WILL BE FOR MYSELF AND MY COLLEAGUES FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES IN YOUR COUNTRY. IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ALRIGHT BY YOU,THEN KINDLY GET TO ME IMMEDIATELY.

Oh. I only get part of the loot? But wait. If you can trump me up as a phony next-of-kin, why not just have one of you do it? I am confused. Maybe I won't get involved with this group after all. On the other hand, I could use a few million bucks...

Check out this link for a great satire of this e-mail genre.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

IT'S THE PARALEGALS, NOT THE LAWYERS...

Today the President was touting tort reform in Illinois. While we all hear about ridiculous awards, often those awards are overturned on appeal. More importantly, many, many cases are filed because people are genuinely injured by someone else's behavior, and the injured party deserves to be compensated. The fact of the matter is, tort reform simply means that when regular people are injured, they can rest assured knowing that the company that injured them was able to calculate the cost of injuring them into its margins before the injury took place.

That being said, this story, about a paralegal in Cleveland is a wet dream for the tort reformers. The guy is suing NBC because he claims to have been injured when "Fear Factor" showed people eating rats. Of course, if you watch Fear Factor, you ought to know that the show is gross and degrading, so there is some assumption of risk. Second, the guy really hurt his credibility when he told Reuters, "I am not at liberty to discuss the complaint unless it is a paid-interview situation."

What a buffoon.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

RYNO IS IN

Ryne Sandberg was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame today. It was his third year on the ballot. Given his career statistcs, and the fact that he was the leader of the first Cubs team to win ANYTHING in 39 years (the National League East in 1984, after the 1945 N.L. pennant), he should have been a first-ballot Hall of Famer. Nevertheless, I'm thrilled that he is in.

Monday, January 03, 2005

NO "I" IN TEAM

I have not blogged throughout the holidays. I have to ease my way back into it. Here's a good place to start. The Seattle Seahawks won their football game yesterday. That allowed them to win their division. This means they will play to see if they can win the Superbowl. This is the goal of every professional football player in the United States (and probably Canada and the World League too). Nevertheless, Shaun Alexander feels "stabbed in the back" because his coach called a quarterback sneak for the game-winning touchdown instead of giving it to Alexander. See, Alexander trailed another guy by 1 yard in the NFL rushing statistics, and the play was for two yards. Alexander lost the rushing title by i yard.

First, way to be a team player, Shaun. You have a playoff game next week, and you feel "stabbed in the back?" Great. Second, was there one time this year when instead of running into a defender and gaining an extra yard you stepped out of bounds? I bet there is. If I'm right, you stabbed yourself in the back, loser.

Thank God I'm a Bear fan and don't have to be bothered with these post-season issues.